With thanks to the Grand National

Tonight, bedtime was given the commentary of the Grand National:
And it's Max who is making a strong lead picking up the lego. A strong lead for Max followed by Mummy, both putting plenty of bricks in the bag. And now Oli's joined the race. A slow start for Jack though - yet to place a brick in the bag. But Oli's coming in strong with handfuls of lego men and the duplo aeroplane. Beard guys, buildings, it's a fast and furious race tonight. With Max in the lead, followed by Mummy, Oli coming in a close third and Jack working hard to catch up. The bag is nearly full with a few straggling pieces still to be put away and Max is holding onto a handful of lego so he can be take a strong position into the next phase of the race but Oli won't beaten, he races across the room to find the final pieces by the door and the FLOOR IS CLEAR. So it's onto the next jump, taking off the clothes for a shower. With Max in the lead and Jack taking a surprising second place as they race for the bathroom. Max has his clothes off, Jack is struggling with his socks, he gets help from Mummy and Oli is slipping behind, but 'No' he shrieks, he will not be outdone. He gets some help from Mummy who is clearly no longer in the race. The shower is switched on and it's Max who races in. Jack is in second. 'Too hot!' is the cry as both come back out of the shower. Cooler now, they head back in but is Jack out again to do a pee. The race is heating up with Oli refusing to take his top off until he is given a glass of water.  An interesting approach from the four year old but it looks like Mummy will comply. Jack's off the loo and back in the shower. The glass of water is there but Max's lead is taking shape. 'Face the wall!' is the cry from Mummy as Jack takes in gulps of water and starts spluttering. 'No can't see!' he yells. Mummy opens the door to give him a scrub and Max is OUT OF THE SHOWER. Out of the shower and Oli still not in. Jack stays in there to get the soap off. And Oli is finally in the shower as the commentary slows down, but that is not tolerated. 'Keep talking!' is the demand from the horses in this race. So it's Max in the lead with Oli being scrubbed and Jack now refusing to get out of the shower. It's a first refusal for Jack, can he take the jump again? Oli is scrubbed and has washed his face so he's ready to get out of the shower. He takes a strong second place as Max gets into his pyjamas. Oli sees his way back into the race and charges into the bedroom. Max is struggling with an inverted pyjama sleeve. How is he going to tackle this one? It's a real challenge. Frustration showing on his face. Will he get his arm through or will he have to pick another tactic? Oh, the grimace! He can see his lead diminishing. Oli seizes his opportunity, getting help from Mummy with his top. He doesn't have buttons and Max does. But there it is, just as Max gets his top on, Oli faces the same inverted sleeve problem with his pyjama bottoms. Frustration bubbling over for Oli now and Jack is still refusing to get out of the shower. The water is switched off but he's busy putting the flannel gloves on his feet. A bold strategy of defiance from the youngest competitor. So it's between Max and Oli. And suddenly Max is faced with toothpaste indecision. Several tubes are strewn around without much inside which is a major challenge at this late stage in the game. Is it going to be Crest or Oral B? It's hard to get enough on the bristles. Oli goes for the Scooby Doo toothpaste which is really hard to get out of the tube. Could this be a decider in the race? And it looks like the brushing has begun. It's underway as they head to the final stretch; the race to bed. They have to navigate into sleeping bags...who will take the pole position. There's nothing in it but Max is struggling to get into his bag because all his teddies are stuffed into the bottom, there's no room for him! And Oli is IN BED. He wins the race tonight. But tears of frustration for Max who must surely be given the generosity prize for sharing his sleeping bag with at least 2 dozen stuffed animals. But tonight is Oli's night with Jack still sitting on the shower floor with flannels on his feet.

I used to put in this blog all the happy things I didn't want to forget in the slow blur of parenting. I wrote about my children's irresistible emergent language; the way they saw things, so fresh and observant. I wrote about the moments I thought were funny; the things we made, or I made for them. I wrote about the ebb and flow of my feelings about raising a family in a place so many miles from 'home'.  I really tried to capture the weight of their bodies in my arms, their small frames, their turn of phrase, the nature of who they might be and the childhood that might be shaping them.

Preschool art projects became kindergarten homework. Empty afternoons filled up with the school run.  Tiredness took a bite out of sibling friendships. Squabbles fell upon us like high speed tetris blocks. I couldn't shift them fast enough to fit the matrix.  Emotion trebled; 'he made a nasty face', 'he took my train', 'he called me dude' (despite the meaning, the slight is deep when delivered with a first grade snarl). I stopped wanting to record our days together. I stopped wanting to take my camera out. I no longer had the time or inclination to share on a blog the content of our lives.  I see an earlier version of myself reading this, the one who took so much pleasure capturing our particular journey.  She is wondering what changed.  I am wondering too.

I know it is all about attitude. I will endeavour to carve out more time to write, seek out the meaning of things and hand it to you like a delicate chocolate wrapped in tissue paper.

Trash to treasure

These are the before and after shots of the chair I rescued from the sidewalk the other day.  With the help of the blog, little green notebook, I managed to reupholster the piece in the space of a week. I have to admit, it was pretty satisfying.  I spent about $70 on fabric and cord (to make the piping/welting) and I used paint I had already purchased. The main challenge was keeping the staple gun away from the kids. It now looks like one of the smartest pieces of furniture we own!

Done with summer

The summer holidays come to a close.   The time has been divided into a happy half spent in Cornwall, catching glimpses of sunshine, seeing people who are important to us, clambering down to inaccessible beaches and sloshing through puddles.  But these past few weeks have been dominated by a friend's accident.  One of those important people. Though I am thousands of miles away, in my mind I have walked the hospital ward. I know the parking lot, full of hot cars, ticking in the sunshine. I see the blue signs directing patients and visitors. I see the nurses. One is especially tall with a brown bob, her eyes the colour of her overalls.  I know the waiting room, the curved plastic chairs, the frosted glass along one wall, the magazines that have come loose from their staples. I know the ICU. I see my friend there, sitting by her husband's side, as he sleeps, among the tubes and the IV bags and the machinery that is helping him survive.  I see the line of staples across the right side of his shaven head. I have seen his children brought into his room, the nurse explaining the tubes and letting them play with the stethoscope and even sit in the swing chair. She lets them trace the shape of their father's hand to take away with them.  I see the doctors looking serious and urgent but benign. This used to be his ward. What are the chances? The intensive care consultant, now consulted upon. There is a picture of him in the bathroom, smiling with his palms out, reminding you to wash your hands.  A bike accident. A split second that has twisted time and lives and futures.  It has been hard to think of anything else.
We went for a walk the other day with the promise of pancakes and sausages at a mountain lodge 2 miles up the hill.  It was so hot, even at ten in the morning, and by the time we were walking back there wasn't even a thin sliver of shade from the trees on the trail.  Last week we picked blackberries and made our first ever pot of sweet pippy jam.  I have kept myself busy making a 'keyhole garden' and reupholstering a chair that we found flung out on the street.  Planning playdates for the kids, getting ready for school. But they are all distractions. My heart is in the Intensive Care Unit at Dereford Hospital, willing a friend to heal.